(no subject)
Apr. 13th, 2009 09:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oh_darling*dies of laughter*
Why do I find these things so amusing? I have no idea.
CHUCK NORRIS FACTS.
Highlights:
-Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
-The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
-Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
-Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
-Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor.
-Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
-Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
-Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
-Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
-Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
-Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
-If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
Love,
oh my! <3
Why do I find these things so amusing? I have no idea.
CHUCK NORRIS FACTS.
Highlights:
-Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
-The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
-Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
-Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
-Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor.
-Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
-Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
-Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
-Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
-Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
-Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
-If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
Love,
oh my! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-14 11:40 am (UTC)I still haven't gotten a straight answer.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-14 05:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-14 10:38 pm (UTC)D:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris
no subject
Date: 2009-04-14 10:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-14 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-14 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-15 02:54 am (UTC):'D;___;What, no hug?
no subject
Date: 2009-04-15 02:54 am (UTC)[/mostly just liked the jokes]
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Date: 2009-04-15 03:00 am (UTC)...hot icon, though.
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Date: 2009-04-15 03:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-15 03:33 am (UTC)You know you want a piece of that.<3
no subject
Date: 2009-04-15 03:34 am (UTC)(Because you weren't killed, just round-housed with enough force to knock you silly.)